The 1996/1997 Book List

Title	Author	Date	Rating	Comments
Infinite Jest	David Foster Wallace	July 13		I was right. I said it would never stop, and it didn't. I read every page, and it hasn't. There's no ending. But I still loved it. It's huge, and it's great. It's full of tennis and dope and footnotes and it's just wondrous.
Barrel Fever	David Sedaris	June 15		A co-worker who listens to Mr. Sedaris on NPR lent me this collection of his short stories and essays. Highlights include "SantaLand Diaries," "My Manuscript" and one whose title escapes me. You'll know it when you read it: a mother of three writes a harried Christmas newsletter describing the hell that has become her life since her husband's half-Vietnamese daughter moved in.
Couplehood	Paul Reiser	May 25		I wish stand-up comedians I like would stop writing books already. This one's better than Jerry Seinfeld's, at least. That's definitely a plus.
The Complete Maus	Art Spiegelman	May 23		Today I spent a really surprising amount of time in the graphic novel section of the bookstore. I expected Maus to be hard to follow, being a story told in cartoons and (I'd heard) a pretty brutal Holocaust tale. Anyway, it's not as brutal as I'd thought; in places and in concept it's really quite funny sometimes. I enjoyed reading it.
How To Win Friends And Influence People, How To Stop Worrying And Start Living, The Quick And Easy Way To Effective Speaking	Dale Carnegie	May 11		While I thoroughly enjoyed the Dale Carnegie Course and believe it did me a world of good (I know it did a world of good for several of my friends, family and co-workers), I wish there hadn't been so much boring reading. Anecdote after anecdote, until you just want to scream, "I GET IT! STOP ALREADY!" Which I did. Repeatedly.
Snow White, Blood Red	Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling, eds.	May 8		I hope E.D. and T.W. never stop putting out anthologies. I really like most of the stuff they put out, especially the yearly collection called The Year's Best Fantasy And Horror. What a wonderful way to discover authors you've never heard of, as well as shorter works from established writers like Joyce Carol Oates and Ursula K. LeGuin.
Trainspotting	Irvine Welsh	April 28		What a startlingly depraved book. Hilarious, no doubt, just as the movie was. The morons who don't want high school people reading The Catcher In The Rye or fifth graders reading The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn oughta take a look at Trainspotting for a real mind-warper. It was !&%$# great.
Emma	Jane Austen	April 14		I'm sure there's a reason Austen's novels are all widely read classics (except Mansfield Park, I guess; maybe I should try that one), but I don't know what it is. I didn't really like this as much as I fear I was supposed to. Perhaps I've been spoiled by the radical departure of modern literature from her form. I mean, I kind of like sentences that stop before they reach three hundred words.
The New York Public Library's Books Of The Century	Elizabeth Diefendorf, ed.	April 1		Another "Thing To Do" on each page. Some of them, obviously, I've already read, but I'm feeling very inferior because of what I haven't.
The English Patient	Michael Ondaatje	March 20		One of my favorite things about the movie The English Patient was that you were never really told, and never really sure, that the burned man was in fact Almasy. For that reason, and this is a rare, rare thing indeed for me, I liked the movie better than the book. Also: remember the confusing narrative structure of the movie? Multiply that by about fifteen, and take out the handy visual aids.
Flashbacks: Twenty-Five Years Of Doonesbury	G.B. Trudeau	February 28		My dad used to show me Doonesbury, starting when I was about ten, because when Mike was watching the news, something subtle would change in the fourth panel (like a Coke can turning into an ashtray), and I would see if I could find it. Since then, I've read every single strip. Most of the really great ones are in this book, with justifiably pissed-off commentary from everyone from Dan Quayle to James Watt.
The Complete Gnomes	Rien Poortvliet & Wil Huygen	February 18		I first read Gnomes when I was so young I wasn't really allowed to take my parents' books off the shelves. For anyone who's never heard of it, it's a scientific study of gnomes, with about half data and half marvelous stories. I love the one about the willow tree.
The Sun Also Rises	Ernest Hemingway	February 8		This is one of my favorite books. I love its characters; I love their names (Jake Barnes, Lady Brett Ashley - I mean, beat that); I love the bullfights, the infidelities, the life of leisure. Oh, well.
Frost	Robin W. Bailey	February 5		I picked this up in a used paperback store because I have some fond memories of a book by the same author (Enchanter), which I read during an important life experience. Neither of them (the books, that is) are all that great, though. Run-of-the-mill fantasy adventure.
Mr. Yowder And The Steamboat	Glen Rounds	February 3		This is a kids' book which I rescued from the Goodwill pile in my parents' house over Christmas. I remember it fondly for its adorable drawings and pseudo-ironic hilarity.
Quiet On Account Of Dinosaur	Jane Thayer	February 3		Another rescue from the charity pile. This book cracks me up, partially because we forgot it when we moved from Ohio in 1983, and it's about 14 years overdue at the Brecksville Public Library.
The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Magician's Nephew, The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, The Horse And His Boy, Prince Caspian, The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader, The Silver Chair, The Last Battle	C.S. Lewis	February 2		I toyed with the idea of listing each of these 7 books individually, but what can I say, I'm somewhat lazy. I bought myself the new slipcased edition of Narnia for Christmas. It was the gorgeous Chris Van Allsburg cover paintings that caught my eye. Then I was intrigued by the fact that the books are now in a different order than they were when I first read them. In any case, they are as beautiful and magical as ever, and I will never outgrow them.
Mary Engelbreit: The Art And The Artist	Author	February 1		A beautiful book. Its editorial content is secondary to its encyclopedic collection of drawings from the greeting cards, T-shirts and posters I find so irresistible.
The Dark Tower III: The Waste Lands	Stephen King	January 6		A vast improvement over Volume 2, but still not as absolutely terrific as Volume 1. I enjoyed it, though. Its fun high points were the sucking portal house thingy and Blaine The Anthropomorphic Monorail.
Amphigorey Also	Edward Gorey	December 25		What is it with the third volumes of series? I don't know why I ever bother reading the second volumes. This is a vast improvement over Amphigorey Too. I really, really like this Gorey stuff. "For no very good reason, their activities remained unsuspected."
Slapstick	Kurt Vonnegut	December 22		I read too much Vonnegut. I can tell this is the case because I keep finding myself at a loss to find another synonym for "What a strange book." I have to admit it would be pretty cool if the government assigned us all new middle names to form us into artificial extended families, though, and I do brush my teeth with hot water.
Thirteen	Remy Charlip & Jerry Joyner	December 17		If I could only take x number of books with me to a desert island, I would definitely put this one in the pile. I've had this picture book literally all my life (well, since I was two), and unbelievably, I just noticed something I never saw be fore. I've never found Thirteen in a library, but I recommend the search strenuously.
The Princess Bride	William Goldman	December 15		As those of you who have done me the kindness of reading through my site before will know, this book is one of my all-time faves. The comic brilliance of its movie version notwithstanding, The Princess Bride is absolutely frigging great reading.
The Return Of The Lone Iguana and At Least This Place Sells T-Shirts	Bill Amend	December 9		I'm a big FoxTrot fan, and, judging from my e-mail, so are quite a few of you. Hopefully someday I will meet and marry someone who won't mind my set-in-stone desire to name someone Paige. If it weren't for Bill Amend, the exit of Bill Watterson's work would be weighing much more heavily upon my soul.
Roc And A Hard Place	Piers Anthony	December 1		One of the better Xanth novels of the last six or so. But if you're a fan, you'll read it anyway, and if you're not, you won't, so there's no point in talking about it. Xanth is one of my guilty pleasures. Whenever there's a new one, I buy it. I don't know why, it's just something I sort of have to do. Along with several hundred thousand other members of my demographic, I've made Piers a very, very rich and bitter man. I just hope he keeps churning these suckers out.
Myst: The Book Of Atrus	Rand and Robyn Miller with David Wingrove	November 22		This is a prequel to the Myst game, whose storyline, while impressive for a video game, was never much of a big deal. It's got a lot of interesting background, quasi-technological details about how the linking books work, and quite a bit of supernatural violence. Not bad.
SeinLanguage	Jerry Seinfeld	November 16		A short book. A funny book. Did I mention it's really rather short?
Fugitive From The Cubicle Police	Scott Adams	November 10		Although some will argue that the Age of Dilbert hath passed (and I do occasionally agree), this set earns its fourth star by including my all-time favorite Dilbert strip. Perhaps I will locate it for you so that you may share in its genius. Perhaps not.
The Dark Tower II: The Drawing Of The Three	Stephen King	November 7		Not as good as the first volume. I could do with more Roland and less of the other characters.
A Prayer For Owen Meany	John Irving	October 17		Another winner. I absolutely loved this book. It has, for one thing, displaced The World According To Garp and The Cider House Rules, which were tied as my favorite John Irving books. This is sad and affecting and wonderful.
The Shipping News	E. Annie Proulx	October 13		Very deserving of all the awards it won (including the 1993 Pulitzer Prize for fiction). I was thoroughly sad when this book ended. It's a perfect story.
My Point ... And I Do Have One	Ellen DeGeneres	October 7		She doesn't, really. I like her TV show, but it's only a sporadically funny book. I think she's just trying too hard.
The Dark Tower I: The Gunslinger	Stephen King	October 3		I'm so hooked. At least three people have told me this series is King's best work, and it's certainly damn close so far. This has all the makings of turning into an honest-to-goodness saga. I am very hooked.
Amphigorey Too	Edward Gorey	September 29		Terrific drawings accompanying wonderfully grotesque and maudlin stories. The original Amphigorey was better; I can't resist quoting from its highlight, The Gashlycrumb Tinies: "N is for Neville, who died of ennui."
Coffey On The Mile	Stephen King	September 20		Even after the first five chapters (and this was not the most unpredictable novel I've ever read), the last one really managed to surprise me. That slimebucket Percy finally got his due. I definitely would recommend the whole series, now that it's all available together. I just hope taking out the six-month wait doesn't ruin the suspense.
Another Roadside Attraction	Tom Robbins	September 1		I can't believe this was his first novel. This is great stuff. Giant metallic hot dogs. Psychedelic mushrooms. Government intervention. Secret militant monasteries in the Pacific Northwest. Baboons. And the body of Christ. Need I repeat? Great stuff.
Night Journey	Stephen King	August 31		The fifth part of The Green Mile. You really had to start suspending the ole disbelief in this one, but the tension was there, the story was there, and the cover was a nice shade of blue.
Biblioholism: The Literary Addiction	Tom Raabe	August 25		Not as funny as I'd been led to believe. For some reason, the author, while fully admitting to his own addiction to books and reading, gives the distinct impression that it's somehow a bad thing. The best line, though: "When you stop at a bookstore after work, thereby arriving home long after dark, do you lie, telling your spouse you were at a bar?"
Half Asleep In Frog Pajamas	Tom Robbins	August 19		I love this man. He is just the king of ridiculous metaphors. My favorite book of his (highly recommended) is Jitterbug Perfume. This one will definitely stick in my memory, though, not least for the bizarre fact that it's written in the second person.
The Day I Became An Autodidact	Kendall Hailey	August 12		Very stream-of-consciousness, kind of like a spoken diary. She started this at 15 and finished it at 20. She fell in love, traveled all over the world and became a novelist/playwright/screenwriter/actress/photographer. I'm sure she'll add more to her famous family's writings.
Strands Of Sunlight	Gael Baudino	August 1		This woman can certainly write, but this (supposedly final) book in the series that began with Strands Of Starlight isn't as good as the earlier ones. Five hundred years have passed, and the Elves are now in 20th-century Denver. I'm not into urban fantasy usually, but this is better than most.
Hamlet	William Shakespeare	July 31		I'm not trying to show off. This is just one of my all-time favorites. My copy, from The Yale Shakespeare (which is long, long out of print), also has about a hundred pages of notes in the back that add invaluable depth and history to the words. Great literature, no kidding.
The Hippopotamus	Stephen Fry	July 27		Even funnier than his first novel, The Liar, and less obviously disgusting. It still rides on that wonderful edge between offensive and funny. A lively and complex story that surprised me more than a few times with its twists and turns.
Knee Deep In Paradise	Brett Butler	July 18		Much more than just celebrity fluff; this is a very intelligent, aware and deserving woman who has found her voice. The story jumps around a lot, but, then, so did she.
The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide	Best Brains	July 18		Eclecticism is the spice of life. I need to wake up every day and remember there are people in the world who are better than me at obscure pop culture references. Besides Dennis Miller.
There's Treasure Everywhere	Bill Watterson	July 18		Not as good as The Calvin & Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book, but I laughed out loud a dozen times, and had to shush myself.
I Got Married if you can believe that	Jim	July 17		The fourth in this brilliant series of cartoon books, after I Went To College and it was okay, I Got A Job and it wasn't that bad and I Made Some Brownies and they were pretty good.

  Some other books I read in the months before the start of The Year One:
The Rants, by Dennis Miller; Mind Pack, by Edward DeBono; Parts 1, 2, 3 and 4 of The Green Mile, by Stephen King; The Liar, by Stephen Fry; Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha, by Roddy Doyle; Practical Magic, by Alice Hoffman; Memoir From Antproof Case, by Mark Helprin; The Alienist, by Caleb Carr.